Sunday, January 2, 2011 25th Birthday

Today was my 25th birthday, celebrating it before any of my friends, who, when I woke up, were probably still hung over after New Years Eve.  I actually took it off my Facebook profile, so I'll be interested to see who actually will remember it (aka way better friends than I am, since I am awful with birthdays myself).  It really hasn't hit me that I'm now 25, which is for all intents and purposes, fucking old.  I still feel like I'm 21.  At least I can rent cars for cheaper?  I can't believe I've been alive for a quarter century (because that's a long time, and because I haven't been killed yet from alcohol poisoning or being in war zones and sketchy modes of transportation in the middle of the Himalayas/Andes/SE Asia).   My mom loves this.  Anyways, I had breakfast at 6am.  I'm pretty much on "Sun time", going to bed at 7pm and waking up at 5am, to coincide with daylight.   Today, not only was it raining all day long of course, I was also introduced to the inefficiencies of the transportation system of the Philippines.  And because I despise inefficiency in any form, today was probably the worst birthday I can remember.  And add in awful luck and shitty weather, that's enough to piss off Tyler Rapp on his birthday, which really takes some skill.  So far, the Philippines LOVES testing my short patience.  I guess yesterday was my day of fun.  I decided to go to the remote Caramoan peninsula, which Lonely Planet said "getting to Caramoan is a highlight of any trip to the peninsula"... Wrong.  More like "getting to Caramoan [along with being impossible] is a lowlight of any trip to the PHILIPPINES".  I started at 7: 00am, catching a van from Donsol back to Legazpi, the capital.  Then, of course they didn't have a direct van to Tigaon, where I needed to go, so I had to take a van to Tabaco (after waiting 15 minutes for it to fill up), then catch a tricycle to the highway stop to catch a piece of shit Jeepney to Tiwi (after waiting 15 minutes for it to fill up).  Tiwi was a tiny little town with nothing but auto shops under sheet metal and convenience stores under blue tarps.  After waiting for 45 minutes for the Jeepney to fill up, I finally got so impatient and hired a tricycle to take me there.  In theory, that was awesome because that stretch of road along the tropical mountainous coastline was beautiful, even in the rain.  In practice, there was a landslide half way there, and so there was no way to pass through, so I paid the driver and walked across to find a Jeepney, which I really had no choice but to take.  Of course they said it left at 12pm in English, but it really didn't leave until 12:45 and when I kept asking them when it would leave, they conveniently lost their ability to speak English.  Ok, here's my take on Filipinos.  They are very open-minded and accepting of anyone (meaning, anyone).  They are extremely happy people despite their often meager opportunities and circumstances.  This means they are very optimistic and rarely get angry or tell you bad news.  Time is "Filipino Time" (fashionably late, aka a couple hours to days) which infuriates me because I am always on a strict timetable, but they seem to have a "whatever happens, it will be" attitude.  They are religious Catholics who love their huge families (and who love making huge families) - seriously, there are a bazillion kids running around everywhere and the population is almost 90 million now.  While they love their families and local community barangays (Filipinos don't really notice outsiders like me, either because I look Filipino-ish, or because they are used to it after centuries of it), which is kind of liberating but often difficult while traveling.  Finally, they are well-connected to the rest of the world.  Every Filipino knows a "balikbayan" working overseas (from the nanny in Milan to the construction worker in Dubai to the nurse in Daly City to the entertainer in Osaka), and actually remittances to the motherland total billions a year, over 10% of the GDP  (I guess that would make it not GDP, but I got that fact from a reputable source).  The weirdest part, though, for me is that the dominant cultural/administrative imports are American, not European, unlike any other part of the world I've been to (which usually is British).  Filipinos (old and young) speak American English, listen to American music, shop at gargantuan shopping malls, watch American films, are adept at Windows, enjoy basketball, attend high school and 4-year colleges and belong to fraternities and sororities, aspire to come to the US instead of Europe, want trucks, and love their McDonalds.  I sadly think I prefer the European cultural domination to be honest.  Which brings me to my next point; In the first place, what American genius thought it was a good idea to colonize the Philippines, investing millions in their infrastructure?  The Bush regime?  Texas, meh arguable, California, definitely a good choice.  Talk about the worst ROI possible; it's the 12th largest country by population (30% of the population lives under the poverty line), and 46th largest in terms of GDP, and forget even trying to find them anywhere on the "Largest trade partners of the US" (they are not in the top ten which covers 2/3 of US trade), not to mention we don't even have a military base there anymore.  Anyways, back to today.  So the Jeepney to Tigaon took forever and was so crowded, and the thing about Jeepneys is that the window is made for midgets so there's not even a view, the whole reason I took this trip to Caramoan today.  In Tigaon, I had to transfer to Goa via Jeepney, and then finally another Jeepney to the little port of Sabang.  Of course, I missed the last ferry to Caramoan, so I could either pay $25 for a chartered bangka canoe during basically a STORM, or cut my losses.  Of course Jeepney was the only way out of this tiny village, so I had to sit on a wood beam the whole 1.5 hour trip to Naga City, while a kid up front was puking and whose spit flew back onto me.  I was so over buses by the time I got to Naga, which was now 7pm.  What I thought would take maybe four hours took, oh just TWELVE.  Unbelievable.  And I hadn't eaten since 6am, so I was so exhausted.  Like Robinson Crusoe with my huge bag and appetite, I finally found a super mall and had dinner there (that's an understatement... I had four different meals, and two desserts).  No vegetables of course, because heaven forbid Filipinos eat any of those.  I went to the bus station to catch an overnight bus to Manila, but just my luck... Literally EVERY seat for tonight and tomorrow were fully booked on EVERY bus line.  And the station was an absolute madhouse, I could barely even walk.  Since Filipinos value money over time, I thought I could bribe the ticket vendors... I offered $100 (which is like $1,000 to us) to pay off anyone, but they wouldn't do it.  So instead, I had to get this nearby business hotel room and sleep in Naga City.  In summary, I spent 12 hours of my 25th birthday riding on nauseating rickety jeeps too hungry to puke, 2 hours covering my bag from the rain, 1 hour eating in a mall food court, and the night in a business hotel room.  In contrast, last year I was celebrating at Circa Brunch with every one of my friends from LA and San Francisco.

Saturday, January 1, 2011 Whale shark snorkeling

I woke up when I landed in Legazpi, in Bicol Region in SW Luzon Island.  I was tired and hungover.  I got out of the airport, and it was overcast but warm.  The unfortunate part was that I couldn't even see the top half of "The World's Most Perfect Volcano", Mt. Mayon, because it was all clouded over.  Ugh.  I took a tricycle to the bus station nearby (I knew it was nearby but for $1 I'd rather make it someone else's problem to find the place).  I ended up taking a very speedy shared minivan to Donsol, a small little town which has exploded after 1998 when a resident whale shark population was "discovered" by the Philippine Ministry of Tourism.  Ok, so "exploded" is a little overzealous; actually more like still a sleepy little town.  I took a tricycle through the town to the Butansing (whale shark) center.  Since the season starts February and tours don't run in adverse weather, I was doubtful in my expectations of being able to go out today.  But sure enough, they were running trips!  And I was expecting to be the only one, but luckily there was a group of 4 French guys with whom I even split the cost, so it was only $25 total for the day!  After getting all the equipment (snorkel and fins), we got on the bangka (Filipino long outrigger canoe) and set off into the ocean off the coast of Donsol.  Donsol has a river feeding into the little coastal area which is rich in plankton (hence the group of resident whale sharks, who eat plankton).  Whale sharks are the largest fish in the world, and are very gentle creatures, but also are endangered because humans kill them both on purpose for meat, and inadvertently through habitat destruction.  Here they are protected.  Our guide was a spotter sitting on the mast, and when he saw one, we quickly jumped out and followed him.  Sure enough, there was a whale shark!  It was huge, just calmly slowly swimming along.  It was big, silvery, spotted, and followed by a hoard of mini whale sharks and other feeder fish.  I got so close to it I could almost touch it (but I didn't because you're not supposed to, and I try to respect wildlife as much as possible).  There were several other sightings, and I got some great pictures and videos with my handy dandy little waterproof/shockproof camera!  Probably one of the coolest things I've ever done, to be honest.  And I was under the impression that seeing them was commonplace.  Apparently not; in December only 2% of boats had sightings, the guide told me.  What a way to start the New Year 2011.  So lucky!  After that, I caught a tricycle back to the town and got a nice hotel for only $10.  Then I took a walk around the quaint little [village], where kids were playing in their yards, women were washing clothes, men were sleeping in their hammocks, and water buffalo were in the rice paddies grazing.  It started to rain and so I got invited into this little family party at a little house.  It was pretty fun; I was definitely the center of attention.  They gave me spaghetti for lunch, they offered me beer and whisky, and I took pictures with all of them.  There were 2 drunk guys who got really old and too touchy feely after a while, so as soon as the rain clouds parted, I left and went strolling down the beach.  Again, it was really rainy so I met this guy my age named Phillip and I sat with him for a while waiting for the rain to die down.  He spoke really good English, and we hung out and talked for a while.  He lives with his grandma, who had to have been the cutest lady, oh, ever.  He went out to the backyard, took a bamboo stick, and speared some coconuts from the tree, and after he hacked them apart with a typical machete, we had REAL coconut water and meat, straight from the source.  Living like a local!  The island life here is pretty good (but also, boring as hell).  If I was born here or in Hawaii, even though my life would be 100% different, I'd be just as happy; clearly, I wouldn't travel or be a CPA, but if the alternative is spending every day under the palm trees on the beach with friends and family, then who cares?  I came back and had dinner at the ONE restaurant in town, at my hotel.  Minus one for the Philippines.  That is without a doubt the biggest annoyance traveling here.  I can deal with touts, sewage, poverty, crime, repulsive bathrooms, corruption, and repressive dictatorships.  But no food?  Kill me now!  Listen all you Filipinos (that includes those in the US): Your food is delicious (and you know it), so open some damn restaurants already.  That way, you make money, I'm full and satisfied when I  look for good hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants, and last but not least so that white people don't keep associating you with balut (half-fertilized egg embryo)!  Cuisine = Fail, when your best restaurants are mall food courts.  I got a $5 massage from a man which was kind of awkward, but who cares, it was bomb.  Again, I went to bed to the pitter patter of tropical rain.

Friday, December 31, 2010 New Years Eve in Manila

Thanks to the huge mountain range on Luzon Island known as the Cordillera, I spent 12 hours on buses.  I woke up at 4:30 before it was even light out, and caught the 5:00am bus straight out of the boring small hill station of Sagada.  I was stoked to be finally getting out of the isolation and cold rain of the mountains, so that I could now go to the isolation and hot rain of the Luzon coast.  The ride to Baguio was incredible.  The sun was just rising over the clouds, illuminating a world of hill towns, verdant rice terraces, and towering rugged mountains that somehow people have inhabited for thousands of years.  I picked the righthand side to sit on because it was not facing the sunrise, but because the grass is always greener on the other side, the views were better on the lefthand side.  The 5-hour ride of hairpin turns and ups and downs was enough to make even the toughest traveler even a little motion sick.  The town of Baguio is the center of the Cordillera region, and it was a huge, hilly crowded cesspool of activity.  Plus, everyone has today off for the New Years holiday, so the streets were packed.  The Jeepney station was among the dirtiest stations in the world, with mud and trash for pavement, a clusterfuck of Jeepneys and dilapidated old school buses, and a bazillion people with all their Costco-sized boxes and bags full of luggage.  I ran away from that as fast as I could (and went to the OTHER bus station; Victory lines, whose buses cost about 5x as much and are pure luxury... ie on my bus ride to Manila it was AC, had almost fully reclining seats, and they played Harry Potter 1 and 2).  The ride was cool, passing through the highlands and later the agricultural heartland of the Philippines, which included a huge sugarcane farm and processing plant, large tracts of rice paddies, and little towns.  I was so amped to just get back to Manila that I didn't even have a chance to eat, so I was absolutely starving when I got back into the megalopolis.  I was actually relieved to be in a huge city after being in the wilderness for the past couple days.  Yeah it's hot, dangerous, expensive, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  All these randoms bumrushed me and were looking to take a commission for finding me a cab outside the bus station, so I said FU, and just looked for one myself, which ended up taking forever.  I almost got swindled into taking a bus straight to Southern Luzon tonight, but then I told the guy "Sorry, I kind of just wanna party tonight instead".  I took a cab to Makati (new area where all the international corporations have their headquarters and where the rich of Manila work and play).  The restaurant at which I was attempting to eat because it's Filipino buffet, of course was closed, so I huffed and puffed around the annoyingly American Supermall-tastic area until I finally found what I needed; a food court!  I ordered a meal of lechon (pig on a spit with an apple in its mouth), another meal of BBQ fish/chicken/squid, and another of sigsig.  It was to die for, except for the sigsig, which is basically fried pig tripe and fat.  People in other countries LOVE animal fat; in the US, on the other hand, we cut it off the meat and discard it.  The internet cafe was open for 10 minutes, so I quickly logged on and booked a last-minute ticket on budget carrier Cebu Pacific for tomorrow at 4am (yes, as in 8 hours from now).  After that I took the most ridiculous cab ride ever to Malate area downtown, where all the cheap young hotels are.  The [I'm 95% positive he was shitfaced] cab driver (who was wearing a yellow bandana) kept rolling down his window and yelling at the other cab drivers "Rock and Roll", making the sign with his fingers.  Then he'd blatantly run red lights, and holding down the horns as long as 15 seconds at a time, we almost hit a biker, and he even got out of the cab to talk to strangers.  So weird!  I checked into Friendly's Hostel, which was backpacker central of the Philippines (which is exactly what I need on a night like Dec 31).  The hostel had posted in about 300 places how Drugs are Not Tolerated blah blah blah, which is interesting because there was a New Years Eve Party on the rooftop, where they were giving away free party hats, a lechon pig and other Filipino foods, the worst Cabernet Sauvignon I've ever had and vodka I didn't dare try, and marijuana cheese and crackers.  Like 3 of the people I was talking to were high, too.  I chatted with this girl from Tennessee teaching English in Korea, this bald man from Norway who was living here for half the year, and then (as usual while traveling) of course the requisite Israeli contingent.  There were a smattering of Filipino stoners and party girls, Koreans who spent the entire time on their computers, no joke, tattooed Australians lighting off fireworks in the streets, and boring Canadians (but a little cooler because they were French Canadian :).  At midnight, we watched the Fireworks show over Manila harbor, from the rooftop, your typical New Years Eve experience.  It was kind of cool being the first of my friends to wring in the New Year, though, because of the time zone.  I felt like we were in 1944 Dresden/1995 Watts/2007 Baghdad, with all the fire crackers exploding all over the streets.  Then I decided enough was enough with the hodgepodge of backpackers, and I went out to the nearby clubs; I started at this tiny and slow place called O Bar, which was pretty fun.  I made friends with this group of guys and somewhat convincing drag queen.  They had to leave because it turns out they work for Chase bank in the call center, and are the very people on the phone when I call to tell them about upcoming travel, etc.  Hilarious.  Then I hung out with these Australian guys who were pretty funny (I mean, duh, they're Australian).  We went across the street to this really awesome club called Bed, with a dance floor downstairs, bar area on the second floor, and a garden bar on the rooftop.  I danced for a while to dumb American Top 40.  It's actually pretty funny because in the Philippines they all listen to American music, not European music, and so they all know all the pop songs, and so a lot of their music is covers to such songs (hence why the new lead singer of Journey is a Filipino guy) because as any fool knows, Filipinos LOVE karaoke.  All these Filipinos at the club were coming up and talking to me, it was pretty fun.  I had to leave at 4am, which I thought was pretty late, but that was when it was busiest.  I took a cab to the airport, checked in quickly, and slept the whole 50-minute flight to Legazpi in Southwestern Luzon Island.