Wednesday, January 5, 2011 Bohol Island

I got up at the asscrack of dawn 5am once again (I think I'm still jet-lagged... it makes sense considering there is a SIXTEEN hour time difference between here and Pacific Time).  I took a cab to the docks, and paid for a $10 ticket to the neighboring very round island of Bohol.  The ferry was indoor seating with AC and it only took 2 hours.  Luckily, it was tourist central when I got off the ferry, meaning there were travel agencies all competing with the exact same tours, which is exactly what I wanted.  I was only a solo traveler, so I didn't really feel like paying $50 for my own car, so I luckily met this Filipino-American couple who shared a van cab with me.  We beelined through the small little capital, Tagbilaran, through the green tropical forests and rice paddies of the island, to the tourist attraction, Chocolate Hills, which is a series of perfectly round green hills which look like a green eggcrate mattress.  Unfortunately it was a downpour and really foggy, so the pictures were subpar.  Luckily, at the bottom, they had a fake background of the Chocolate Hills, where they'd take your picture for a small fee.  Next stop was a mini adventure park.  Because why wouldn't I, I decided to pay the $7 and go ziplining over the Loboc River, which was awesome!  You basically are strapped into a harness hanging from a cable across the canyon, and they just let you go and you go flying headfirst to the other side, hundreds of feet up.  So fun!  Next stop was Loboc River, for Filipino lunch buffet (YES YES YES) of watermelon, banana, cucumber (you have no idea how good vegetables taste at this point), pork fat adobo, okra string beans, fried chicken, soup, pancit, and coconut gelatin.  It was served on a big covered boat, which was pretty funny.  They putted upstream to some dinky waterfalls, as we were serenaded by a guy singing "La Bamba", Righteous Brothers, and Elvis.  There was a touristy stop with some live Filipino village performers, who were dressed in yellow and did the bamboo stick-banging dance, pretty cool.  It was mostly Filipino tourists, some Westerners here and there.  That's one thing I really like about the Philippines, is it's largely void of Westerners.  Tons of Koreans (randomly), but despite the American military and corporate presence, not too many Westerners.  Of course I've seen plenty of the quintessential old bald white guy (with money) walking around with with the young Filipina girl (waiting for her US passport application to be processed), but what's new.  But there are hardly any tourists, which is so nice for an traveller like me, because it makes the place feel way more natural and unspoilt (despite the fact that it's been colonized by 3 different powers for 4 centuries now), compared to, say, the western side of the South China Sea, which has become nothing but: "$4 Massage (+1)/Full Moon Party/Ride an elephant/$1 Pad Thai/Phuket island boat picture/Sex with anything you want".  After that we stopped at a little touristy animal stand, which I felt bad for stopping at because they are responsible for killing off endgangered species like the tarsier, but I managed to escape without paying them.  They, had a bunch of tarsierswhich are cute tiny alien-monkey things with HUGE red bug eyes and the coolest little hands.  I took some pictures of that before moving on to the "Largest python in the world" at 30 feet.  Wow... enormous!  And apparently it eats a live hog once a month.  Bad ass.  After that we stopped at Spanish Catholic Church (yawn) and then the site of the Blood Compact; where the Spaniard Legazpi and a local chieftain Sikatuna drank each other's blood in forming a treaty of respect.  Sikatuna was apparently the only Filipino who wasn't hostile to the Spaniards (considering what the Spaniards did to brown people throughout history, all the other Filipino chiefs had the right idea).  In fact, Chief Lapu Lapu of Cebu was responsible for killing Magellan on his trip [partway] around the world.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011 Malapascua Island

I noticed that there were stars last night, which can only mean one thing... we're not in Los Angeles.  It also means there are clear skies!  Accordingly, I wasted no time in getting up at 6am in order to maximize my hours of clear skies... apparently they are few and far between in the Philippines.  It was a little hazy but still sunny... finally, Thank God!  I walked around the main Bounty Beach area, which was pretty idyllic; swaying palmtrees, little bungalows, white crushed coral sands, and picturesque bangka fishing canoes.  I intentionally left my watch in my room and walked all over the island, which is only a mile long.  The island moves at quite a slow pace; there are no cars, no one knew the time or seemed to care, everyone was smiling when I walked by.  I got lost a bunch of times and stumbled across these sleepy little villages and coves of palm-fringed, white sand beaches... all to myself!  Paradise.  Now this is what a beach vacation is supposed to be.  At one of these little beaches, I got to talking to some of the villagers, and I hired a bangka canoe, which took me to all the snorkeling spots for $10 because... why not?  It was glorious.  I got to snorkel at these coves and a WWII Japanese wreck.  There were these colorful silver, yellow, green, blue fish along with angelfish and these weird mini-swordfish.  It was so cool just swimming up to the boat, getting to dive where I wanted, and getting to leave when I wanted.  I returned to the room and got a $6 massage because, again, why not?  Then I walked over to the "pier" (aka beach), and had to charter a boat for $15 to get back to Cebu island because the ferry wasn't filled, so who knows how long I'd have to wait.  I was annoyed at the captain because he took 45 minutes to anchor and get me on a dinghy back to shore, after of course trying to double-charge me for the dinghy ride.  I caught the exact same bus as yesterday back to Cebu City, which was hellish because the sound system had treble on 99 and no bass, and was playing awful music like 98 Degrees.  I had to put in my headphones just to block out the tinny cacophonous noise.  I had some banana chips and hanging rice thingies (which was literally just white rice, I thought there would at least be some filling).  Of course with 5 days left in my vacation, my camera decided to stop working (I was planning on trashing it after this trip anyways, but now what about these random 4 days left?).  So I had to stop at a megamall and waste my time shopping around for cameras, which were exorbitantly more expensive than the US market.  I was about to buy a cheap Kodak, but then it didn't even have a self-timer, my most necessary feature in a camera (obviuosly, who do you think takes all the pictures of me while traveling solo?), so I ended up getting this mediocre Canon, but at least it takes SD memory and since it's a Canon I know the picture quality is superior.  I was contemplating buying a D-SLR because I really just want one in general, but here the cheapest was $700.  I caught a Jeepney into town and walked around looking for an open restaurant.  Honestly, what does it take to get a damn dinner in this place?  It sounds stupid, but when I haven't eaten literally ALL day and there are no restaurants in the second largest city in the country, it's not a pretty sight.  I randomly walked down a shantytown alley where there were a bunch of guys hanging out.  I made friends with them, and they were having this communal feast of corn rice on banana leaves, topped with beans and fish.  They invited me to join, and I got to scoop food into my mouth with my hands with them... what could be better?  I love how hospitable and friendly the people are here in the Philippines; it's awesome!  I talked to this adventure guide, Justice, for a while, before checking into a nearby hotel and passing out.