Sunday, January 2, 2011 25th Birthday

Today was my 25th birthday, celebrating it before any of my friends, who, when I woke up, were probably still hung over after New Years Eve.  I actually took it off my Facebook profile, so I'll be interested to see who actually will remember it (aka way better friends than I am, since I am awful with birthdays myself).  It really hasn't hit me that I'm now 25, which is for all intents and purposes, fucking old.  I still feel like I'm 21.  At least I can rent cars for cheaper?  I can't believe I've been alive for a quarter century (because that's a long time, and because I haven't been killed yet from alcohol poisoning or being in war zones and sketchy modes of transportation in the middle of the Himalayas/Andes/SE Asia).   My mom loves this.  Anyways, I had breakfast at 6am.  I'm pretty much on "Sun time", going to bed at 7pm and waking up at 5am, to coincide with daylight.   Today, not only was it raining all day long of course, I was also introduced to the inefficiencies of the transportation system of the Philippines.  And because I despise inefficiency in any form, today was probably the worst birthday I can remember.  And add in awful luck and shitty weather, that's enough to piss off Tyler Rapp on his birthday, which really takes some skill.  So far, the Philippines LOVES testing my short patience.  I guess yesterday was my day of fun.  I decided to go to the remote Caramoan peninsula, which Lonely Planet said "getting to Caramoan is a highlight of any trip to the peninsula"... Wrong.  More like "getting to Caramoan [along with being impossible] is a lowlight of any trip to the PHILIPPINES".  I started at 7: 00am, catching a van from Donsol back to Legazpi, the capital.  Then, of course they didn't have a direct van to Tigaon, where I needed to go, so I had to take a van to Tabaco (after waiting 15 minutes for it to fill up), then catch a tricycle to the highway stop to catch a piece of shit Jeepney to Tiwi (after waiting 15 minutes for it to fill up).  Tiwi was a tiny little town with nothing but auto shops under sheet metal and convenience stores under blue tarps.  After waiting for 45 minutes for the Jeepney to fill up, I finally got so impatient and hired a tricycle to take me there.  In theory, that was awesome because that stretch of road along the tropical mountainous coastline was beautiful, even in the rain.  In practice, there was a landslide half way there, and so there was no way to pass through, so I paid the driver and walked across to find a Jeepney, which I really had no choice but to take.  Of course they said it left at 12pm in English, but it really didn't leave until 12:45 and when I kept asking them when it would leave, they conveniently lost their ability to speak English.  Ok, here's my take on Filipinos.  They are very open-minded and accepting of anyone (meaning, anyone).  They are extremely happy people despite their often meager opportunities and circumstances.  This means they are very optimistic and rarely get angry or tell you bad news.  Time is "Filipino Time" (fashionably late, aka a couple hours to days) which infuriates me because I am always on a strict timetable, but they seem to have a "whatever happens, it will be" attitude.  They are religious Catholics who love their huge families (and who love making huge families) - seriously, there are a bazillion kids running around everywhere and the population is almost 90 million now.  While they love their families and local community barangays (Filipinos don't really notice outsiders like me, either because I look Filipino-ish, or because they are used to it after centuries of it), which is kind of liberating but often difficult while traveling.  Finally, they are well-connected to the rest of the world.  Every Filipino knows a "balikbayan" working overseas (from the nanny in Milan to the construction worker in Dubai to the nurse in Daly City to the entertainer in Osaka), and actually remittances to the motherland total billions a year, over 10% of the GDP  (I guess that would make it not GDP, but I got that fact from a reputable source).  The weirdest part, though, for me is that the dominant cultural/administrative imports are American, not European, unlike any other part of the world I've been to (which usually is British).  Filipinos (old and young) speak American English, listen to American music, shop at gargantuan shopping malls, watch American films, are adept at Windows, enjoy basketball, attend high school and 4-year colleges and belong to fraternities and sororities, aspire to come to the US instead of Europe, want trucks, and love their McDonalds.  I sadly think I prefer the European cultural domination to be honest.  Which brings me to my next point; In the first place, what American genius thought it was a good idea to colonize the Philippines, investing millions in their infrastructure?  The Bush regime?  Texas, meh arguable, California, definitely a good choice.  Talk about the worst ROI possible; it's the 12th largest country by population (30% of the population lives under the poverty line), and 46th largest in terms of GDP, and forget even trying to find them anywhere on the "Largest trade partners of the US" (they are not in the top ten which covers 2/3 of US trade), not to mention we don't even have a military base there anymore.  Anyways, back to today.  So the Jeepney to Tigaon took forever and was so crowded, and the thing about Jeepneys is that the window is made for midgets so there's not even a view, the whole reason I took this trip to Caramoan today.  In Tigaon, I had to transfer to Goa via Jeepney, and then finally another Jeepney to the little port of Sabang.  Of course, I missed the last ferry to Caramoan, so I could either pay $25 for a chartered bangka canoe during basically a STORM, or cut my losses.  Of course Jeepney was the only way out of this tiny village, so I had to sit on a wood beam the whole 1.5 hour trip to Naga City, while a kid up front was puking and whose spit flew back onto me.  I was so over buses by the time I got to Naga, which was now 7pm.  What I thought would take maybe four hours took, oh just TWELVE.  Unbelievable.  And I hadn't eaten since 6am, so I was so exhausted.  Like Robinson Crusoe with my huge bag and appetite, I finally found a super mall and had dinner there (that's an understatement... I had four different meals, and two desserts).  No vegetables of course, because heaven forbid Filipinos eat any of those.  I went to the bus station to catch an overnight bus to Manila, but just my luck... Literally EVERY seat for tonight and tomorrow were fully booked on EVERY bus line.  And the station was an absolute madhouse, I could barely even walk.  Since Filipinos value money over time, I thought I could bribe the ticket vendors... I offered $100 (which is like $1,000 to us) to pay off anyone, but they wouldn't do it.  So instead, I had to get this nearby business hotel room and sleep in Naga City.  In summary, I spent 12 hours of my 25th birthday riding on nauseating rickety jeeps too hungry to puke, 2 hours covering my bag from the rain, 1 hour eating in a mall food court, and the night in a business hotel room.  In contrast, last year I was celebrating at Circa Brunch with every one of my friends from LA and San Francisco.