Sunday, January 9, 2011 Shopping, Cock biting

I woke up at 6, thinking that was pretty early, but it turns out the old ladies were already awake at 4am, one was already at the 5:30am Sunday mass, and the other was slaving away in the kitchen to make my breakfast.  Eek, I feel so guilty, but I can't really stop them.  Plus they said I was their only visitor besides Vee and her family.  I had some mussels, rice, fruit, and noodles, and then they walked me to the town square, where I hailed a bus back to Manila.  The ride was nondescript, only two hours.  I took a cab straight to Greenhills Mall for one of my favorite parts of the trip; shopping!  I normally hate shopping, but here it's different.  I spent like $300 (which is a steal, considering all the shit I bought; Louis Vuitton roller suitcase, Louis Vuitton duffel bag, five Louis Vuitton wallets, a Movado watch, five pairs of shirts, two Lacoste shirts, two pairs of True Religion jeans, three pairs of Diesel and Puma shoes, and five pairs of shorts.  I think that'll do it.  Oh, and a shirt that says I <3 Pinas (sound it out).  Talk about bargain and haggle central; most everything was eventually halved in price.  It was just so freaking cheap, and this mall was ENORMOUS.  I got lost a couple times and got nervous I wasn't going to be able to find the shop where I left my bag.  Ain't nothing like a little retail therapy to end my awesome vacation.  I got the jeans hemmed for $5 and then re-packed everything which was absolutely hilarious.  Basically I had 2 suitcases for the trip home; a Louis Vuitton rollerbag, and a Louis Vuitton duffle bag.  Personal porter optional.  And the best part about this, is right after that I took a cab to the "cockpit", to watch probably the furthest thing possible designer, cockfighting.  First of all, it's hilarious hearing Filipinos talk about cockfighting because they mix up "p" and "f", so it sounds like they're saying "cock biting" (which could also get really dangerous I would imagine), where you are supposed to "bet on biggest cock".  They even had signs on the arena for "8-cock derby".  And the jokes are endless...  The cockpit was pretty big and, let's just say, functional.  It had a bunch of comfortable bleachers and $4 got me front row seats (probably not the best, because the hardcore betters were all standing on the top deck and I was getting feathers all over me).  It was quite the spectacle.  First, these three guys come out holding roosters, and there is basically one pissed off rooster who pecks and runs at each of the two contenders to infect them with his charm.  Then the crowd starts going wild, and it seems that everyone is yelling at the top of their lungs "Tres" or "Dos" or "Cuatro", and pointing to these guys in red shirts at the bottom of the ring, who coordinate the bets.  Don't ask how they figure it out; it's chaos, to say the least.  Then the two guys take off the little plastic sheaths on the roosters' feet, revealing sharp razors, and drop them in the ring.  Almost immediately, there is silence as everyone watches the ball of feathers flying every which way until one appears victorious and one is basically dead.  PETA loves this.  At least it's not as bad as the Korean horse fighting... I don't really know why it's not as bad, maybe just because horses are cuter and not used as KFC regardless?  I had lunch at the very authentic smoky cafeteria, where there were big crowds of guys stroking, teasing, and showing off their cocks to compare for size (sorry, it never gets old).  I took a cab to the airport and did all the formalities before catching my 11pm flight from Manila to Shanghai.  At all Filipino airports they have "departure fees" you have to pay on top of your tickets.  It's $4 for domestic and $15 for international (payable in cash only) so it's not enough to change my mind about flying, but still, just fucking include that in the ticket... what an annoyance.  Because in Peru I had changed all my money in the terminal and then they're like "Oh you have to pay your $25 departure tax or you can't leave", so I had to re-withdrawal $40.  There are few things I hate more than departure fees.  Again, I had to go through China immigration for my 10 hours in the airport.  In Shanghai, everything was closed so I slept on a bench in the departures lounge.  I had meager aspirations of taking a bus into Shanghai to see New Bund area for a while, but then after hearing it was 1 degree Celsius, ixnay on the ourtay.  What a trip; certainly had its challenges, but for the most part, an overall awesome experience.  Highlights were definitely the friendliness, hospitality, Americanization, and optimism of the people, prices, everything about Boracay beach, lack of tourists, lack of rules and urinating in public tickets, swimming with whale sharks, and food (when available).  Lowlights were definitely the lack of efficient tourist and basic infrastructure, the weather, my birthday spent on 5 Jeepneys and eating in a mall food court and not being able to buy a bus ticket, and lack of haste of the people, food (when not available which is basically 24/7).  I'm definitely depressed to have to go back home... But that's a good thing, that means I've enjoyed my time (aka busy season for me starts tomorrow).

Saturday, January 8, 2011 Visiting Veronica's relatives

This morning I was nothing short of a hot mess.  I woke up drunk still, sprawled in my bed, and had to go buy Gatorade for my second hangover in a row.  It was cloudy, which wasn't so bad, since I had to leave Boracay Island.  I'm actually really sad to leave this place; it's so fun having nothing to do except lie on the beautiful beach, get massages, eat seafood buffets, and party with fun Aussies.  I hopped on a tricycle to the port of Boracay, then got on a short ferry ride, then got in this van whose driver said "Airport".  Except I noticed that we were going into these rural areas and it was taking WAY longer than the 3-minute tricycle ride like before.  Oh, because they were going to the airport in Roxas, not Caticlan!  So they stopped the entire van and made sure got on another van back to Caticlan, which was so nice of them, and I had more than plenty of time to spare before my 11am flight to Manila.  Manila was sunny and warm when I landed.  Flying over was a trip; basically it was a few skyscrapers here and there, and the rest was a sea of shanties for miles as far as the eye could see.  A city of 12 million, 75% living in overcrowded unsanitary slums; that's pretty unfathomable.  I had instructions to go to the "Genesis" bus terminal, which wasn't a problem, but then going to the mall to check my email was a nightmare.  To get there (in Pasay City) with my bag and hungover was so annoying.  Manila is one of the most overcrowded unsustainable cities I think I've ever been to (and I've been to Nairobi, Los Angeles haha, Mumbai, and Cairo).  Which means there were people everywhere, pissing and sleeping on the street, carrying chicharron on their heads, and just standing around watching the one tourist a week that comes through this part of town.  It's also amazing the lack of tourism and tourism infrastructure in this city, Thank God everything is in US English.  I got online and then caught the bus to Balanga, in Bataan province (it's a peninsula west of Manila bay), which is infamous for the Bataan Death March, where thousands of US soldiers were marched across the peninsula to POW camps by the Japanese during WWII, a lot of whom perished along the way.  Balanga was a nice little town on the water.  I hadn't a clue what these people looked like, so luckily I was approached by Veronica's "[Filipino version of] cousin" Mariabeth.  She and her friend and Veronica's auntie Meli had rented a tricycle to take me to their village of Hermosa, about 30 minutes north.  On the way, they stopped at the oyster stand and bought bags of fresh oysters for $2.  We stopped at this little shack under a banyan tree for some palabok pancit (curry noodles) and halo halo (which I was hesitant to try due to the fact that they don't use purified water for the ice).  After that we drove to their house in the cute litte village (but since we're in the Philippines it's population 100,000) and went to their little cottage.  It's basically a long mobile home-type structure with a bathroom, kitchen, living room, family room, and bedroom.  Filipinos are quite accustomed to living in close quarters with little privacy, as in this case, where Veronica's aunt sleeps in the same bed with her older aunt.  When the family members visit they also stay in the bed with them, but I think they thought I'd be uncomfortable sleeping with two complete strangers, so the two 60+ year old ladies set up sheets in the living room, sleeping on the concrete floor, relinquishing the comfy California king bed to me (talk about making me feel awful!)  But they were really happy to have a guest (basically the only one who visits them except for family).  Meli was saying how people were asking her who was this guest who was staying with her, and she goes "I have no idea"!  She was a funny lady with a great laugh.  She was asking if I knew "Gabino"; "Uh, not that I know of, should I know him?", "Yes, he Veronica boypriend" [Gabino = Gavin].  As with all Filipino women, these ladies knew how to cook and they whipped up some amazing food.  We had vegetables, pancit, lumpia Shanghai [ground pork filled fried rolls], chicken adobo, fresh oysters with vinegar, and upon my request, balut.  The meal was so delicious, even being hungover as I was.  I ate like five plates worth.  Ok so let me explain balut; basically everyone associates Filipino food with lumpia Shanghai, or balut.  Balut is a hard-boiled egg, except what differentiates it is that the "egg" is actually a half-developed embryo.  Meaning you peel it and it's firm, with visible mucous, veins, and even feathers.  They write "B" for balut on the egg, because picture someone expecting to eat a regular ole hard boiled egg, and instead getting a chicken fetus.  After getting over the initial appearance, I happily poured some vinegar and salt on and bit into it.  I ate two because they got them specially for me (and they didn't think that was a lot because she knows people who eat 10 at one sitting).  To be honest, it wasn't bad.  Never know until you try it!  After dinner we had one of Mariabeth's friends drive us, with her two other nurse friends, to Subic Bay, which used to be the town adjacent surrounds of the US military base.  What I'm trying to say is it used to be a dirty, raucous shitshow of whorehouses and bars (aka Isla Vista for American sailors).  Now it's a family tourist destination, with watersports, a nice marina, and lively nightlife, and it's mostly all Filipinos.  We spent the evening watching outdoor performers (who were actually pretty good at doing covers since Filipinos are good impersonators, and comedy even though it was in Tagalog).  The singer even nailed "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston, very impressive!  Even though vastly Filipino, there were some smatterings of Koreans and US ex-military and their mixed descendants.  After that we drove through Olongapo City (also infamous with Americans for being a slummy town with "Shit River" separating the city and the base) which was awash with loud nightclubs and a lively night market, where I got some other counterfeit goodies.

Friday, January 7, 2011 Boracay Island Day 2

I woke up hungover as hell, but there was nothing better than 2 Gatorades, a water, and a whole fresh coconut full of coco water.  I saw that the sun was out, so I hastily ran to the beach to take pictures before it clouded over again.  I walked around the beach for a while, and then somehow remembered that I had to meet the Australian brother and sister from last night at Club Paraw at 1pm.  Turns out the sister Alex is 19 years old and the brother Lars is FIFTEEN years old (but at least looks 20).  We hung out and walked along the beach; they were really cool (I mean, obviously, they are Aussies, they're always fun).  Just hanging out with kids on their summer high school break, who can't even drink or drive yet.  I got a superior $7 massage, and then had dinner at one of the bazillion seafood buffets.  I was sitting alone and so the manager asked if I cared if a mom and her daughter sat with me, so of course I didn't mind, and it turns out they are Filipino but live in SAN FRANCISCO.  What are the chances?  We ended up becoming friends and spent 3 hours together at dinner!  I, of course, had been saving up my appetite all day for this glorious moment.  Oysters, clams (like, literally Manila clams), mussels, BBQ chicken, lechon (pig with apple in mouth), porkfat adobo, watermelon, pancit, and a bunch of other stuff.  Amazing and $6 total.  After that I met up with the Australians at Club Paraw but we moved over to some other club down the beach where the bartender hooked us up with like 4 free shots each.  Clearly, we all got hammered.  Lars had to be at home at 12 because of his parents' curfew, so we went to their awesome room with him, and were hanging out by the pool for a while and were throwing the lawnchairs into the pool and getting yelled at by Russians (in Russian), but the Filipino guards didn't do anything about it.  We went up to the hotel bar and got more cheap/free shots and got even more hammered.  It was so fun; again, all the Filipinos were coming up to us, dancing and taking photos.  Lars went to bed and then Alex and I went to the club, which was bumping with house music and trendy Europeans and Aussies (clearly not grinding on each other though, because only Americans do that).  I was blacked out doing God Knows What in that club until 4am.  Such a great time!  I love Boracay.

Thursday, January 6, 2011 Boracay Island

Nothing like waking up at 4am and having the hotel guard tell you you owe more money than was originally agreed upon because it's "Sinulog" festival.  I was furious.  First, Sinulog is THREE weeks from now.  Second, I was like "Oh, why don't you just use some of the money you STOLE from me yesterday from my room!"  Yesterday I came back and should have had $100 but only had $40.  Not like it's a big deal, but still I think thieves are some of the lowliest parasites on this earth.  At least rob me at gunpoint or pickpocket me!  Then at least you can say you "earned" the money.  Whatever, at least my passport is safe.  After switching cabs because the first refused to use the meter, I finally got to Cebu Mactan International Airport.  I think Filipino names are some of the coolest; Mactan, Sagada, Olongapo, Ninoy Aquino, Boracay, Zamboanga.  I checked in and unlike flights in the past, this was about 95% foreigners, going from Cebu to Boracay.  It was a little prop flight to the Philippines' #1 tourist destination; Boracay Island, a couple mile long island off the coast of Panay Island, surrounded by coral reef and white sand beaches.  But it's weird; before getting to White Beach (the Miami Beach of Miami), you would never know.  You first have to take a plane to Caticlan on Panay Island, then you fill out an arrivals form (which I don't understand), then you take a $0.50 tricycle to the port (none of this is explained by the way), then you pay a $0.50 environmental fee, then you pay some other $1 [corruption] fee, then you pay $3 for the boat ticket, then you pay $0.50 for the Jeepney/tricycle to the center of White Beach.  The whole way it's nothing but dusty, working towns filled with no tourists, and then all of a sudden you get to White Beach, and you walk west of the main road, and it's 95% tourists.  Unfortunately it was rainy so it made my search for cheap hotels difficult, especially since there is a lack of budget accommodation here, and most hotels were fully booked.  The hostel I originally wanted was all full, so I had to end up just going next door, and it was actually really cheap and a nice big room all to myself, close to the main D'Mall of central White Beach.  So I spent the day walking around the beach and just relaxing.  Of course, the couple days I'm here it's overcast and even rainy.  I had some good food; a Filipino breakfast (garlic rice, beef tapa, and egg), a half chicken meal, and a HUGE margarita glass full of yummy halo halo which I finished while watching everyone struggle walking around in the downpour.  The weather definitely put me in a sour mood, but whatever.  I got a massage on the beach, and went in the nice turquoise water.  There were lots of kids running around, which is normal in the Philippines, where the President has strong ties to the Catholic Church who has lobbied successfully against a family planning program.  Of course there were hawkers trying to sell you on activities on basically anything that floats.  There were tons of Russians/Europeans/Australians/overseas Filipinos vacationing here.  I also of course saw tons of couples (white old man with young Filipina girl), but who had no mixed children (a shame because we all know that half white, half Asian/Pacific Islanders are the basically the most superior people humans can produce).  The beachfront was nice, with palmtrees and shaded seats, with bars and restaurants and souvenir shops coming right up to the sand (not terribly tsunami safe).  I made the unfortunate mistake of trusting Lonely Planet and doing "Happy Hour" from 5-8pm.  So I had a few drinks at some of the bars by myself, which was kind of lame.  Lamer was the fact that I missed out on all the spectacular $6 seafood buffets right on the beach.  Lamest was the fact that nothing really started going on until after 11, by which point I was already blacked out.  I spent most of my time in Club Paraw after getting kicked out of Guilly's Island after sneaking into a Russian party where no one was even smiling.  Apparently their version of Christmas is today, and so they head rented out the hugest club in Boracay because Russians are loaded.  And still, no one was smiling.  I met this Australian brother and sister and we basically started the dance party, after which all these Filipina girls were coming up to us and dancing.  It was pretty funny.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011 Bohol Island

I got up at the asscrack of dawn 5am once again (I think I'm still jet-lagged... it makes sense considering there is a SIXTEEN hour time difference between here and Pacific Time).  I took a cab to the docks, and paid for a $10 ticket to the neighboring very round island of Bohol.  The ferry was indoor seating with AC and it only took 2 hours.  Luckily, it was tourist central when I got off the ferry, meaning there were travel agencies all competing with the exact same tours, which is exactly what I wanted.  I was only a solo traveler, so I didn't really feel like paying $50 for my own car, so I luckily met this Filipino-American couple who shared a van cab with me.  We beelined through the small little capital, Tagbilaran, through the green tropical forests and rice paddies of the island, to the tourist attraction, Chocolate Hills, which is a series of perfectly round green hills which look like a green eggcrate mattress.  Unfortunately it was a downpour and really foggy, so the pictures were subpar.  Luckily, at the bottom, they had a fake background of the Chocolate Hills, where they'd take your picture for a small fee.  Next stop was a mini adventure park.  Because why wouldn't I, I decided to pay the $7 and go ziplining over the Loboc River, which was awesome!  You basically are strapped into a harness hanging from a cable across the canyon, and they just let you go and you go flying headfirst to the other side, hundreds of feet up.  So fun!  Next stop was Loboc River, for Filipino lunch buffet (YES YES YES) of watermelon, banana, cucumber (you have no idea how good vegetables taste at this point), pork fat adobo, okra string beans, fried chicken, soup, pancit, and coconut gelatin.  It was served on a big covered boat, which was pretty funny.  They putted upstream to some dinky waterfalls, as we were serenaded by a guy singing "La Bamba", Righteous Brothers, and Elvis.  There was a touristy stop with some live Filipino village performers, who were dressed in yellow and did the bamboo stick-banging dance, pretty cool.  It was mostly Filipino tourists, some Westerners here and there.  That's one thing I really like about the Philippines, is it's largely void of Westerners.  Tons of Koreans (randomly), but despite the American military and corporate presence, not too many Westerners.  Of course I've seen plenty of the quintessential old bald white guy (with money) walking around with with the young Filipina girl (waiting for her US passport application to be processed), but what's new.  But there are hardly any tourists, which is so nice for an traveller like me, because it makes the place feel way more natural and unspoilt (despite the fact that it's been colonized by 3 different powers for 4 centuries now), compared to, say, the western side of the South China Sea, which has become nothing but: "$4 Massage (+1)/Full Moon Party/Ride an elephant/$1 Pad Thai/Phuket island boat picture/Sex with anything you want".  After that we stopped at a little touristy animal stand, which I felt bad for stopping at because they are responsible for killing off endgangered species like the tarsier, but I managed to escape without paying them.  They, had a bunch of tarsierswhich are cute tiny alien-monkey things with HUGE red bug eyes and the coolest little hands.  I took some pictures of that before moving on to the "Largest python in the world" at 30 feet.  Wow... enormous!  And apparently it eats a live hog once a month.  Bad ass.  After that we stopped at Spanish Catholic Church (yawn) and then the site of the Blood Compact; where the Spaniard Legazpi and a local chieftain Sikatuna drank each other's blood in forming a treaty of respect.  Sikatuna was apparently the only Filipino who wasn't hostile to the Spaniards (considering what the Spaniards did to brown people throughout history, all the other Filipino chiefs had the right idea).  In fact, Chief Lapu Lapu of Cebu was responsible for killing Magellan on his trip [partway] around the world.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011 Malapascua Island

I noticed that there were stars last night, which can only mean one thing... we're not in Los Angeles.  It also means there are clear skies!  Accordingly, I wasted no time in getting up at 6am in order to maximize my hours of clear skies... apparently they are few and far between in the Philippines.  It was a little hazy but still sunny... finally, Thank God!  I walked around the main Bounty Beach area, which was pretty idyllic; swaying palmtrees, little bungalows, white crushed coral sands, and picturesque bangka fishing canoes.  I intentionally left my watch in my room and walked all over the island, which is only a mile long.  The island moves at quite a slow pace; there are no cars, no one knew the time or seemed to care, everyone was smiling when I walked by.  I got lost a bunch of times and stumbled across these sleepy little villages and coves of palm-fringed, white sand beaches... all to myself!  Paradise.  Now this is what a beach vacation is supposed to be.  At one of these little beaches, I got to talking to some of the villagers, and I hired a bangka canoe, which took me to all the snorkeling spots for $10 because... why not?  It was glorious.  I got to snorkel at these coves and a WWII Japanese wreck.  There were these colorful silver, yellow, green, blue fish along with angelfish and these weird mini-swordfish.  It was so cool just swimming up to the boat, getting to dive where I wanted, and getting to leave when I wanted.  I returned to the room and got a $6 massage because, again, why not?  Then I walked over to the "pier" (aka beach), and had to charter a boat for $15 to get back to Cebu island because the ferry wasn't filled, so who knows how long I'd have to wait.  I was annoyed at the captain because he took 45 minutes to anchor and get me on a dinghy back to shore, after of course trying to double-charge me for the dinghy ride.  I caught the exact same bus as yesterday back to Cebu City, which was hellish because the sound system had treble on 99 and no bass, and was playing awful music like 98 Degrees.  I had to put in my headphones just to block out the tinny cacophonous noise.  I had some banana chips and hanging rice thingies (which was literally just white rice, I thought there would at least be some filling).  Of course with 5 days left in my vacation, my camera decided to stop working (I was planning on trashing it after this trip anyways, but now what about these random 4 days left?).  So I had to stop at a megamall and waste my time shopping around for cameras, which were exorbitantly more expensive than the US market.  I was about to buy a cheap Kodak, but then it didn't even have a self-timer, my most necessary feature in a camera (obviuosly, who do you think takes all the pictures of me while traveling solo?), so I ended up getting this mediocre Canon, but at least it takes SD memory and since it's a Canon I know the picture quality is superior.  I was contemplating buying a D-SLR because I really just want one in general, but here the cheapest was $700.  I caught a Jeepney into town and walked around looking for an open restaurant.  Honestly, what does it take to get a damn dinner in this place?  It sounds stupid, but when I haven't eaten literally ALL day and there are no restaurants in the second largest city in the country, it's not a pretty sight.  I randomly walked down a shantytown alley where there were a bunch of guys hanging out.  I made friends with them, and they were having this communal feast of corn rice on banana leaves, topped with beans and fish.  They invited me to join, and I got to scoop food into my mouth with my hands with them... what could be better?  I love how hospitable and friendly the people are here in the Philippines; it's awesome!  I talked to this adventure guide, Justice, for a while, before checking into a nearby hotel and passing out.

Monday, January 3, 2010 En route to the Visayas

Like I said earlier, literally every seat on every bus from Naga to Manila was full last night, so I had to just stay over in this random business hotel (which required I pay more for hot water... because businesspeople are fine with cold showers before their meetings?)  I had a leisurely morning of getting some breakfast next door, checking out the mall, going online, and then getting lunch at my favorite; the food court.  I got rice, shrimp, fish, pork panang curry stuff, pork skewers, mixed veggies, and kare kare.  All for $8, and of course I ate the whole thing.  Glorious!  I got driven to the airport in a van, if you can even call it an airport.  All the planes are props, there are 2 airlines that service it, there is one waiting area, and check in and security take a combined 8 minutes.  I got on the plane and slept the whole way to Cebu City, the central hub of the Visayas (basically, all the islands of the Philippine archipelago between Luzon in the north and Mindanao in the south).  I was actually really excited to get my island on, finally, after doing nothing but riding on buses my whole vacation thus far.  I was pretty depressed it was completely overcast; that just really puts me in a bad mood when my BEACH vacation is cloudy.  Cebu was a pretty damn big city for such a little island; there were skyscrapers, sprawling housing complexes, slums, big ocean liners, and fish farms from the coast all the way up the green hills.  My experience in Cebu City was short-lived; I took a cab straight to the bus station and immediately got on a bus to Maya on the very northern tip of the island.  Cebu City from what I saw, was pretty much a gritty city stretching for miles on end along the coastal plain.  People were everywhere, I guess that's what happens when there is only so much inhabitable land and 90 million citizens using it.  The beaches (and by that I mean cement shorebreaks) were dirty and rocky.  We had a pit stop somewhere along the way, and I ended up getting this tiny bird (I swear it was like a pigeon) skewer on a stick.  It looked so "foul", but not going to lie, it was delicious.  Another point: Bathroom economics of the Philippines cracks me up.  Everyone pees wherever they please, which is cool because that means I'm free to do that.  I mean, it's gross and what if you're peeing on someone's property, but whatever.  So because you can pee wherever you want, public bathrooms that charge for use (they are making a killing on women), but it is half price for #1 and full price for #2.  Definitely if you were trying to be discrete in front of your co-workers or in-laws, well too bad!  I ended up in the tiny town of Maya at 8pm, and of course all the normal (I say 'normal' and not 'scheduled' because 'schedule' doesn't exist) ferry service to Malapascua Island ended hours ago.  So instead, I had to hire a bangka outrigger canoe from an old couple to go across the channel.  Wow... talk about an experience; that boat was rocking and the wind was howling, I'm pretty sure there were whitecaps.  Not to mention it was pitch dark and all I had for bearings were the lights of the island ahead.  It was pretty sketchy, but to be honest I kind of got some sick pirate pleasure from being on a rocking ship in the middle of the night in high winds, getting sprayed in the face by the ocean water.  But I'm pretty wimpy compared to those Polynesian seamen who sailed like 5,000 miles to Hawaii from Bora Bora in nothing but an outrigger canoe with sails (and then they got sad there were no kids so they went back and brought kids the second time).  I had a tout show me a cheap hotel because at this point I just wanted to be on land in peace.  It was pretty basic; a bed with mosquito net, cold shower, and all concrete.  Whatever, I didn't come here to stay in my hotel room; I came here to lay on the beach.