Thursday, January 6, 2011 Boracay Island

Nothing like waking up at 4am and having the hotel guard tell you you owe more money than was originally agreed upon because it's "Sinulog" festival.  I was furious.  First, Sinulog is THREE weeks from now.  Second, I was like "Oh, why don't you just use some of the money you STOLE from me yesterday from my room!"  Yesterday I came back and should have had $100 but only had $40.  Not like it's a big deal, but still I think thieves are some of the lowliest parasites on this earth.  At least rob me at gunpoint or pickpocket me!  Then at least you can say you "earned" the money.  Whatever, at least my passport is safe.  After switching cabs because the first refused to use the meter, I finally got to Cebu Mactan International Airport.  I think Filipino names are some of the coolest; Mactan, Sagada, Olongapo, Ninoy Aquino, Boracay, Zamboanga.  I checked in and unlike flights in the past, this was about 95% foreigners, going from Cebu to Boracay.  It was a little prop flight to the Philippines' #1 tourist destination; Boracay Island, a couple mile long island off the coast of Panay Island, surrounded by coral reef and white sand beaches.  But it's weird; before getting to White Beach (the Miami Beach of Miami), you would never know.  You first have to take a plane to Caticlan on Panay Island, then you fill out an arrivals form (which I don't understand), then you take a $0.50 tricycle to the port (none of this is explained by the way), then you pay a $0.50 environmental fee, then you pay some other $1 [corruption] fee, then you pay $3 for the boat ticket, then you pay $0.50 for the Jeepney/tricycle to the center of White Beach.  The whole way it's nothing but dusty, working towns filled with no tourists, and then all of a sudden you get to White Beach, and you walk west of the main road, and it's 95% tourists.  Unfortunately it was rainy so it made my search for cheap hotels difficult, especially since there is a lack of budget accommodation here, and most hotels were fully booked.  The hostel I originally wanted was all full, so I had to end up just going next door, and it was actually really cheap and a nice big room all to myself, close to the main D'Mall of central White Beach.  So I spent the day walking around the beach and just relaxing.  Of course, the couple days I'm here it's overcast and even rainy.  I had some good food; a Filipino breakfast (garlic rice, beef tapa, and egg), a half chicken meal, and a HUGE margarita glass full of yummy halo halo which I finished while watching everyone struggle walking around in the downpour.  The weather definitely put me in a sour mood, but whatever.  I got a massage on the beach, and went in the nice turquoise water.  There were lots of kids running around, which is normal in the Philippines, where the President has strong ties to the Catholic Church who has lobbied successfully against a family planning program.  Of course there were hawkers trying to sell you on activities on basically anything that floats.  There were tons of Russians/Europeans/Australians/overseas Filipinos vacationing here.  I also of course saw tons of couples (white old man with young Filipina girl), but who had no mixed children (a shame because we all know that half white, half Asian/Pacific Islanders are the basically the most superior people humans can produce).  The beachfront was nice, with palmtrees and shaded seats, with bars and restaurants and souvenir shops coming right up to the sand (not terribly tsunami safe).  I made the unfortunate mistake of trusting Lonely Planet and doing "Happy Hour" from 5-8pm.  So I had a few drinks at some of the bars by myself, which was kind of lame.  Lamer was the fact that I missed out on all the spectacular $6 seafood buffets right on the beach.  Lamest was the fact that nothing really started going on until after 11, by which point I was already blacked out.  I spent most of my time in Club Paraw after getting kicked out of Guilly's Island after sneaking into a Russian party where no one was even smiling.  Apparently their version of Christmas is today, and so they head rented out the hugest club in Boracay because Russians are loaded.  And still, no one was smiling.  I met this Australian brother and sister and we basically started the dance party, after which all these Filipina girls were coming up to us and dancing.  It was pretty funny.